Insert Title Here

so here's another untitled blog. just wanted to let my fingers do the talkin so if things are a little random and out of order.. sucks for you. :]


christmas is just around the corner and again, i'm a little sad about not having the money to buy presents for everyone i love and care for. i apologize for my presents being late but just remember, i love you all.
christmas is a time to spend with people you love, and for me, they are my family, friends and of course the hubba bubbas. i miss my family, yes. i've been out of the house for over a year now and still, i'm independently dependent. does that make any sense at all? i'm out of the house, yet i still rely on my mom to give me money and help me out. i la la love my mom for all that she's done for me. she's the best there is. the illest there is. one to take a shot of henessy with me and my friends. lol. i'd never trade her for anyone else. i want to prove to her that i can make it on my own. it just takes time "/. and i hate how long this process is taking. i want my career to begin already. make money so i can support her this time. she's done so much and i want to do the same. just wondering when that'll be.


i've been in and out of "love" for the past couple years. but for the past 9 months. i haven't been. know why? because i'm married to my boyfriend. LOL. he's really something else. he trully is my bestfriend. even though we're literally the same person and that's why we butt heads so much and argue about the smallest things. but we both agree that the arguments we have make our relationships stronger. i la la love him dearly and i won't trade him either. now that we have bella, it really feels like we got ourselves a small family. :] NOT that we're thinking of starting or having a real one anytime soon, bella's enough to take care of right now. i am mama gf and bella is my baby. he is my hubba bubbas.
everytime 11:11 comes along, i close my eyes and wish that it'll work out this time around. we're closing in on 12 months in three months. who knew it would last this long? lol. i was literally playing it by ear.. but i ended up falling in looove with him. :] super duper happy to be around him all day every day. his face is the first thing i see in the morning and the last i see at night [even in the dark lol]. yay for COHABITATION :D


my life as of now is very content. just living life as it is one day at a time. stuggling to keep money in the bank but still manage to keep a smile on my face to hide any worries that i may have. no worries, beef curry.


love one, love all.

For the Holidays

doneskees

fall 2008 is officially over! i had my last final today. which was my history 110b final. it only consisted of 40 questions.. and sad to say.. that the things i read were BARELY on the stupid final! ughz. that's why i hate studying. kus the things i study for aren't the things on the final! grr. and i hate how the teacher just gives us all these things to study.. and only chooses a COUPLE to put on the effin test! ughz. thanks prof. mc clain! gaaash.

anyway.. bella's listenin more often. she's really chill. i love her. she's too cute. we're goin to bring her up north. to show my bradda. lol yeaaa.

christmas is next week already!! gahhh! i'm sad kus this holiday season.. i seriously have NO money to spend on gifts! we have a christmas tree but there's no gifts under it "/. it makes me sad forealz. blehh. but.. when january comes.. ohhh man. i'll be back on cloud 9!! too bad i have to worry about rent and save some $$ aside for that. gahhhh. ughz. idk.

i want some soup. me go now :]

Bella Maka Nani

she's my baby :]

Philosophy

just ONE MORE day in that stupid class. i love it. hate finals tho. sucks ass to be at home stuDYING [got it from big sis micka]. if anyone reading this is a philosopher, i just want to ask you for one thing, make your philosophical view easy for others to understand. kus really.. philosophy is bullshit. it's just something for you to think about and make you question your life as it is now. AND most of the material covered makes NO SENSE because the philosophers' grammars makes things effin hard to comprehend! it's dumb. it's why people go psycho. LOL. ok not really. but you get what i mean.. i hope. i'm dying to study.

NOT.

SleepCry

So I had this dream last night that's been bothering me for the whole day.


THE DREAM [from what I remember]:
I was at home and Tupes came home with his "friend". For some reason, Tony's room wasn't his room, it was ours and Tupes and the girl went straight to it. I don't know why I didn't get mad right away, but what seemed like a couple hours later, I opened the door and I yelled at both of them to wake up. I told the girl to leave, called her some names and told her "how are you just going to sleep with my boyfriend? you can't just walk up in here and go straight to our bedroom and sleep with him!" she leaves and i turn to Tupes. I asked him, "what did you guys do?" "what happened?" "did you do anything?" first couples times he said no, nothing happened.
I asked some more and he leans closer to me and whispers in my ear "I don't want to lie to you."

so I asked him, "what happened?"
Tupes said "She kissed me.."
"What else?"
"I played with her c**t. Then we.." He had this look on his face and he shrugged his shoulders and right then.. I already knew what happened next.
I took his hand and pulled him off the couch. I led him to his closet and asked him to pack.

I remember crying in my dream and I remember waking up because the feeling was surreal. Ever been woken up by a dream and tears were running down your cheeks? I call it sleep crying. I know it was just a dream. But I am one to think that dreams come true. and no not just those high hopeful dreams.. but dreams such as these. they could come true too. and I wouldn't want it to. even if it was just a dream, just thinking about it and visualizing what they could've been doing in the room makes my heart drop to my stomach.

we've been arguing for the past couple days. and of course, he blames it on me. but tell me this, how is he going to get mad at ME because I have an account on BlogTV when he's obviously been the one getting more air time everytime somo and tony are on that shit. he just doesn't know and he doesn't believe me when I tell him that I keep my eyes on him. I know when he's trying to get someones attention. and last night, somo was recording a show, and I told him I saw him on the show. and yet, he still denies ever being on that fuckin website!! fuck this man. I HATE WHEN HE'S LIKE THIS. he always tries to make me feel stupid. I know what I'm doing. I know what I see. he just gets mad at me for catching him on the act. ughz. he treats me so good, yet so fuckin bad. and i don't want to put up with it.

Insert Title Here

So yesterday was my grandma's 10 year death anniversary. I miss her so much. She was the best grandma ever. Always smiled and rarely ever got mad at me, my bro, and my cousin. My lola was the prettiest ever :]. I miss you lola! I love you always and forever! Always watch over us and help us out when we are in need! I know you're always here next to me protecting me from harm, as well as ading, momma, and lolo. I'll be seeing you.


Okayyy soooo.. I'm addicted to craiglist! lol ahha. All I ever wanna do is put things up for sale! ahha I just sold my bed today to this chinese lady. I put it up for sale for $85 but then her cheap ass bought it for $50 kus my stupid ass told her "someone offered me $50" after she asked me if I could sell it for $45. grrr. I should've said $60! damn it! Ohhh welll. Now, I'm thinking I should sell some shoes. Tony the Tiger took pictures of his and is selling it now. I'm just in desperate need to get money for effin bills! Blehhhhh. I really need a job! And these places I applied at aren't callin me back! They pissin me off! Like ok, I called one today, and when me and Tony walked in to get an application, I asked them if they were hiring and this gay ass asian dude said "yes, yes we are". But when I called today they said they weren't hiring! Ughz. What kina bullshit is that?!!


Anyway, this Christmas, I'm not expecting much. Kus I just asked my mom to give me money instead of a camera. I need the money and since she's willing to get me a camera for xmas.. I just asked for the money instead. I really need the money. Ughz. I hate being broke as fuck. I can't wait for my financial aid! LOL.




CUT.

i just had to

wish i knew the effin choreo!! you go girl! i mean.. boy!

finger painting christmas tree decorating &then some

bubbas, the roomies, and i did nothing today but go eat sushi at around 5, get subway at around 9 and put up the christmas tree at around 11 something. our tree has shells on it.. and a butterfly.. and beads and pearls. lol. its rather.. girly but cmon.. iris and i did it kus tupes and tony didn't wanna help us decorate it! gosh. we have like 3 huge ball ornaments too. ahah. same ornaments since last year.. but we jived it up a little :]. after the tree was done.. Apt. 335 did a little art project and broadcasted it on BlogTV. cooooool huh? ahha. iris had this blank canvas and we painted it with the paint i had. it turned out pretty cool and we're goin to hang it in the dining room i think. lol ahah. it's koooo.


well uMm.. idk. it bothers me how like.. he gets mad at me kus he thinks i only have a BlogTV account kus i wanna meet and chat with guys. but cmon, look at him. everytime tony's on, he's on that shit too saying hi to chellelegs and chattin with them other folks and what not. i know better man. i know he thinks chellelegs is cute. i can just tell by the sound of his voice and how he says things and how he acts. i know him. and then today, yeaa i was textin this guy i barely knew but know on myspace right? and he straight up throws a bitch fit saying "tell him i said fuck you! and tell him i better not catch his ass textin you again!" yea ok i get it. but shit.. i can't make new friends? ughz. whatevers dude. das koo. he can go on BlogTV with tony where he can easily talk to girls on there and i can't make new friends.


whatevers fooooool. goodnight to ur ass.

rin on the rox

this song defines how i feel sometimes. if i were a boy, i'd be the best boyfriend i ever had....

wish i could sing like them.

squashed

soooo we went to sugar and i had.. ehhh. it wasn't as bad as i thought. i thought i was just gunna end up sittin down the whole time. but yanno.. it was for lana's bday and such.. so i danced a little more than i have been for the past couple months. pretty chill tho. nice club. isn't that big. but it's koooo. anyway.. something happened that i never wouldve thought would happen. so this guy jc from wow has been on tupes' ass for i guess 3 years now. tupes' #1 hater and well, he was there. i didn't know he was until we were in the smokin area and he came outta nowhere and he was walkin up to tupes from behind. i grabbed tupes' hand kus i thought shit was gunna go down.. but to all of our surprises... jc just wanted to tell tupe's that their beef was squashed. dunzo. over with. like.. i don't even know the fool and i was so happy to hear that it was. kus i know it was all about this girl that.. i rather not mention kus well.. nobody seems to like her.. and since nobody does.. i might not either. so yeaaa. to have beef for 3 years over a girl is whack. but i mean.. i'm glad its over. and well.. because they were koo now.. jc got down with this random dude. ughz. fights. drama. i hate it. overall though, tonight was pretty chill and koo. a little more drama than i expected, but it's koo.


well.. gotta finish my food now. i'll continue later later.


goodnight world.

sugah sugah how you get so fly

sugah sugah how you get so flyyyyy.

guess we all goin to sugar tonight for ms. lanamarie's birthday. we'll see if i have fun tonight or not. kus lately.. i've been gettin bored as hell at the club. i'm beginning to think it's not my thing anymore. i know right.. whaaaaaat?!!!! pia? not clubhead anymore? LOL. we'll see folkz.

diagnosed

with foooooooood comaaaaaaaa!!! lol ahha. i effin woke up at 3:45 today! and its barely 5:49. haah. and i made some afternoon breakfast. with some eggs and kielbasa and then some bacon!! it was yummilicious! lol ohh! and then i had some sinigang soup that the hubba bubbas made. leftover.. but it's still good you know. mmmm.

anyway.. i'm watchin Smart Guy with Taj Mowry. coooooool huh? aha. i haven't seen this show in forever! it's the episode where they talk about lizzie borden. ahha. it's super funny tho. i miss the good ol' days. used to watch Full House then Step By Step then Family Matters. ohhh man. ahahha. What happened to these shows man.. they need come back! ahaha. this episodes just plain funny tho. idk. i love it.

ok sooo.. it's thursday and idk what were gunna do. we got no funds to do anything whatsoever. buuuutttt.. bubbas said that clubbing's at sugar? no paying for parking? no paying for entrance? ahah. we'll see what happens. well ima end here. needa do some uHH.. bidness if you know what i mean. ;] bahahhahhah!

NO! NOT THAT TYPE OF BIDNESS! YAHHH FREEEAK NASTiEEEESS!

reference of the day

you and me.mp3 by bobby valentino reminds him of boogie and amanda. hmmm. reminisce?

frustration baby you've got to breathe

grrr! i have this response on a book due tomorrow and it has to be 2-4 pages long! i never read the book kus i never bought it. why the hell would i buy a book that cost more than $20 just to read 160pages? thats not even half of the book! waste of money. nowwww. i'm on a mad scramble to look for a site where i can read the book. is there even such site?!! someone help me out! this paper alone is 10% of my grade. that's a lot right? ughz. i'm screwed. fucked up mannnn. that sucks. ima give up by 10:00 kus i still need to do my effin philosophy homework. which is ridiculous kus philosophy sucks ass and its confusing as hell. i hate philosophy! its bullshit!

ok. back to lookin for a stupid website where i can read this darn book!
gahhhhhhh.

bowliiiiing!!! &the rubiks cube

Soooo me and the hubba bubbas went with big sis Micka to wesco to go to the 21XL meeting and to bowl right. Myron bought everyone food and paid for bowling. I wasn't planning on bowling, but then bubbas was like "alright we'll play". I haven't played since what? Last year when I had that going away dinner/bowling night in Manteca. So I'm a little rusty. But check this, I played a great first round! Got second place outta four kus damn, that guy Giggles, he kicks ass in bowling. ahah. Didn't even seem like he tried! lol ahah. Anyway, so I thought I was gunna do all bad right. Nahhhhh not even foooools! ahha. I did wayyy better than I expected and I broke hundreds yo! shOo. THEN! Then came the second game, and guess what happened.. I scored LAST! WTF?! WTF happened to my streak of good luck tho? ughz. Pissed me off. Well.. not really. ahah. I was just bummed kus my arm was giving up. And it's all lazy right now. Feeling all heavy and shit. ahah. Anyway, to sum it all up, 21XL folks are dope. Hella funny and Myrons koo for buying everyone pizza, nachos, and fries [but no drinks tho.. whaddafashingadigg?!] Bought us hella salty ass foods and no drink. How messed up is that. ahah. Thank God Justin bought a big cuppa drink! yeeee!!!

Soooo Micka drops me and the hubba bubbas home and it's foggy as hell! Who would've thought that it'd be foggy down here? This was the first time I've seen it get this foggy. Ok so, LOL. We're in the car on the way home and Tupes of all people is scared as hell, holding onto my hand kus he's scared of the fog. Not scared of the fog as in scared kus it's there. He's scared kus he can't see anything and it was the funniest thing seeing him like that. LOL idk I just found it funny. Aside from that.. we get home and right when we do, I get online to join Tony's blogtv thang thang and Juts co-hosting. funny funny ahah. I eat with the bubbas and now we're both stuck on solving the effing rubiks cube! Like seriously.. who the hell came up with this shit?!! I thought people who could do it in under 5min were super cool. But now I know it's just all memorization! Effin CHEATERS! You guys ain't smart! Y'all just memorized the effin algorithms for solving the rubiks cube. And there's even like.. it's own vocabulary and shizzzznits. up, up invert, right, right invert, left, left invert.. well, you get the picture.

I was messing with the cube and I was tryna get the hang of it.. and when I'm thisclose to solving the cube, Tupes takes it away from me and messes everything up! Like.. WHADDAHELL DUDE? WHADDA HELL?! gahhhh. Idk. Now he's not even letting me play with it. He thinks he got it.. but nahhh. I doubt it. lol. Man! I want a turn! Grrrrrr.

I'm currently watching Three Kings starring one of my bfs Marky Mark [Mark Whalberg]. I have three Marky Mark boyfriends just to let you guys know. ahahha! I'm watching kus I have nothing else to do.. and I'm doing this. I really don't know what else to talk about now. I've run out of stories and things to say. Just waiting on this fella right here to finish his turn with the rubiks cube since he thinks he's gunna solve it right now. ptsh.. oooookayyyy. LOL.

And CUT.

first time.mp3

ohhhh man. this is my first blogspot blog. whOot whOo me! ahaha.
as of now.. i don't have much to say. i have mean ass food coma
right now and i think i shall nap its.
i'll continue later later.